A FATHER TO ALL
 |
“People
with integrity have firm footing, but those
who
follow crooked paths will slip and fall.”
Proverbs 10:9
|
Nothing
in life speaks louder or more powerfully than a life of integrity. It is a
characteristic so radiant, so consistent, so steady, and so beautiful, that it
leaves indelible marks in our existence. Its real test is being able and
willing to tell the truth always. This is the bedrock of human existence. My
father was an embodiment of integrity.
My
father once told me that simplicity and peace are two closely related concepts,
and that the simple life is the most powerful and successful life. He lived the
most simple and peaceful life, a life that knew where his source of strength
and power was; a life that was full of happiness, charity and cheerfulness, and
a life that was devoid of clutter, hate, happenstance and hurriedness. He
taught me that,as the Bible teaches, “Whoever becomes simple and elemental
again, like this child, will rank high in God’s kingdom”(Matthew 18:4).
In my
father, simplicity was, indeed, pure genius. And he demonstrated that the joy
of living a simple life, by destiny, improves our lives. He believed, and
practiced, the precepts of the scriptures that teach us not to worry about what
we look like on the outside, but to be more concerned about who we are on the
inside. Through my father, I came to learn that the world sees us as we appear
to be, but God sees us as we really are. He lived out the Biblical lesson that what
is most important is pleasing God; and that we please Him when our intentions
and actions are pure and just.
In all
the years that I was blessed to benefit from my father’s counsel, I was
fortunate to share numerous philosophical and spiritual discussions with him. A
written account of those interactions, and the ennobling lessons my father
bequeathed to me, would span several volumes of books. My father was a veritable
philosopher, a practical spiritualist, a consummate thinker, an astute
businessman, a principled politician and, above all, a firm
believer
in helping other people to triumph and succeed. He took deep delight in the
victories of others, and always seized any opportunity to encourage and support
others’ goals and ideals. He believed that, in lending a hand to others to
succeed, he was not only spreading the seeds of joy and happiness, but also
obeying the words of God.
He
showed me that in order to be truly accomplished and to go far in life, it was
imperative to encourage and assist others; for it is in lifting other people up
that you lift yourself too. What a man he was.
This tribute
is focused on the virtues that my father espoused in his life.He was a man of
such admirable moral stature and ethical commitment that this tribute struggles
with the modesty, humility and self-effacement that were hallmarks of his
exemplary life. Yet, I am compelled to tell his story, even within the
constraints of moderation. My father often preached that we must remain humble,
and was fond of the saying that pride goes before a fall. He taught me that humility
is the antidote to the fall that is the shame of the prideful. To my father,
humility leads to happiness; pride does not. God exalts the humble at heart
whose glory, in the end, cannot be taken away.
My
father’s story was a pretty long and outstanding one. Where can I begin to tell
it? Is it from his noble birth? His tenacious childhood? His magical sojourns?
His beautiful family life? His selfless philanthropy? His Godly life? His
entrepreneurial spirit? His graceful, ageless life? His brilliant mind? In the end, the best way to tell his story is
through the testimony of other people who came in contact with him, who
interacted with him, whom he touched and who touched him in return.
My
father and I shared, from my childhood, a very close bond. As I was growing up,
his name opened doors for me. As a child I had free and uninhibited access to
the homes of the late Emir of Kano, Alhaji Ado Bayero, the late President of
Nigeria, Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe, one of the most progressive of Nigerian politicians,
the late Alhaji Aminu Kano, and many other prominent contemporaries of his. His
name evoked love, passion and utmost respect. His cousin, the late Professor
Kenneth Dike, once told me that, if I could attain,in a very small measure, the
mark of my father’s character, intelligence and uprightness, I was destined for
greatness. My father was a man of quiet dignity and stupendous moral capital.
He was indeed an enigma.
A Great Leader and Peace Maker
My
father was also a great and effective leader, who knew how to get people to
follow. He believed that reaching the
level where your life’s work and mission continue in perpetuity required not
only being a leader yourself, but developing the people who follow you to be
effective leaders as well. This is why he never saw his personal success as an
end in itself, but realized that his impact on this world rested in the hands
of those who follow. He lived out the idea that the ultimate test of a leader
is not what he/she is able to do in the here and now, but instead what
continues to grow long after a leader is gone. An impressive student of
history, my father grasped and shared the important lessons from the lives of
such great ones as Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi. He
wanted people to realize that long after Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. died on
April 4, 1968, his influence at the turn of the 21st century has
surpassed all imagined dimensions.
From my
childhood days, to the day my father passed, his homes were Meccas of sort, a
beehive of activities, courtrooms and arbitration venues. My mother felt, and
justifiably so, that my father belonged to others and not to his family. She
used to poke fun at him with a nickname, “Awka first, Nigeria second, Family last.”
My father was trusted to settle disputes, close loopholes and reinstate order
in any circumstances. He had an inimitable way of restoring accord by healing
rifts that threatened to sunder families, institutions, and larger communities.
He was a dependable and reliable arbiter, who willingly offered physical,
emotional and financial support to strangers.
My
father had a God-given talent that is best referred to as “restoration talent”.
He used this talent so well in figuring out what was wrong and resolving them
without fanfare. He deployed this talent
in helping people feel safe and secure whenever they brought a matter before
him, by ensuring that their flaws and shortcomings could be overcome and the
goodness and excellence in them restored.
He always told the Truth.
One
touching testimony to this occurred during my visit to the late Chief Obi
Nwabuncha, the father of Senator Ben Obi, during the unfortunate period of local
chieftaincy imbroglio in our town. My father and Chief Nwabuncha shared
different ideas at the time, but also shared strong admiration, mutual respect
and brotherly love. Despite these
differences in ideas and ideologies, Chief Nwabuncha always welcomed me to his
home. Once in the presence of his children, he said to me, “Nwokechukwu, your
father is the ONLY MAN WHO SAYS THE TRUTH IN AWKA.” This statement, made more
than 30 years ago by a well-respected Awka elder, has remained indelible in my
mind.
My father was a Strategist.
He was
able to apply his strategic thinking to all spheres of his life: family,
politics, business, relationships, local affairs and world affairs, to name a
few. He made himself known and available as a resource for consultation with
those who were stumped by a particular problem or hindered by an obstacle or
barrier. He had an effortless gift for seeing a way when others were convinced
there was no way. And this gift was also tied to his habit of strategically
encouraging and leading others to success. He was very charming and humorous,using
these natural virtues to build a network of trust, support and communication.
He applied his strategic mind to build a constituency, making a huge impact
across barriers of time, distance, ethnicity, religion and culture. He created a wide map of social and other
networks that spanned across the world and generations.
Compassionate God Fearing Christian
My father
was a God-fearing and happy Christian. His was a happiness that brought enduring
value and worth to life. His happiness was embedded in God and not the
superficial happiness that is dependent on human circumstances. His was the
happiness and contentment that fills the soul in the midst of the most
distressing circumstances. He was, in the truest form of the word, a compassionate
Christian who exemplified humility, gentleness and kindness. His kindness was
contagious; he ensured that whoever was around him caught it from him. He
extended hospitality to others, but without trying to impress people, or
expecting any rewards. He was not just a good man in the deepest sense of the
expression, but was indeed a man of rare greatness, a pillar to all.
Love For Family
He was
a dedicated and attentive husband and father. He loved his family with stupendous
passion and unequaled compassion. There was never a single moment of rancour
and bickering between him and his wife, my late mother. He taught me that the
place of a wife in a family was that of an equal companion. He never abused his
family in any form or shape. He reached out, beyond his immediate family, to
numerous relatives and their families. His children, grandchildren and great
grandchildren were special and dear to his heart. He treated all with equal and
unbiased love and attention. Everyday, I, his eldest son, struggle to imitate,
emulate and follow in my father’s footstep, his path of honour, and to be a
beacon of his shining and unblemished life. What a huge task and challenge it
has been—and will continue to be. But I consider myself blessed to have my
father’s incomparable legacy to shape my future and fuel my efforts to aspire
to his noble ideals.
May
the Good Lord who gave me such an extraordinary man as a father, guide and
confidant help me.
And
may the example of my Father, our Father,the Father of all, continue to inspire
us all.
PAPA,
GO IN PEACE
I WILL
ALWAYS LOVE YOU, AND CHERISH YOUR MEMORIES
THANK
YOU FOR EVERYTHING.
http://brownbrommel.com/about-the-author-dr-okey-anueyiagu/
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